We're all adults here, right? Can I be the first party pooper here who goes out on a limb and complains about how lame dressing up in costumes is for grown ups on Halloween? I know that each person reading this enjoys seeing girls dress up in revealing costumes so that they can oogle them all night long. I also know that I am married and ogling attractive women in skimpy outfits will earn me nothing but a smack to the head. Isn't it time for us to just use Halloween as an excuse to get drunk with out friends without putting on makeup? I think we should all start considering the Halloween t-shirts party alternative.
There are a few unreasonable drunks out there who are throwing up their hands and asking where I expect them to find the money to go and buy Halloween t-shirts to an empty room right now. Well, you're an idiot and probably a sociopath. You can get on the Internet and buy a shirt that would suit your needs right now for a mere fraction of what it's going to cost you to put together a decent costume. Not only that, but you can hang your shirt up and use it again next year. Now who's being economical and cost effective?
Now there's the issue of comfort. You usually have one of two options available to you if you decide to dress up in a costume. You can either go the mask route, or the makeup route. If you're wearing a mask, you have to spend all night lifting and lowering it so that you can drink your delicious adult beverages and so that people can hear what you're saying through the muffler effect the mask has on your voice. If you decide to wear a bunch of makeup, you will itch and smear makeup on everything you touch. How much better do simple, comfortable, Halloween t-shirts sound now?
Then you have all of the guys and gals like myself, who have simply started throwing their party invitations in the trash as soon as they see it has "costumes mandatory" on it. Not going anywhere is so much better than dealing with everyone asking me if I dressed up as a jerk. You know what? I dressed up as an adult, thank you very much. It would be such a wonderful whoosh of a fresh breeze if someone were to just invite me to a Halloween t-shirts party.
You don't have to tell me that I've convinced you that the Halloween t-shirts party is a much better idea than stupid costumes. All of the signs point to my idea being better than the traditional one. Cost, comfort, and maturity are all points in my favor. What do costumes have to offer compared to that? I know that you're going to make the right decision this year...not just for yourself, but for all of your friends as well. Let's party like grown-ups, shall we?
There are a few unreasonable drunks out there who are throwing up their hands and asking where I expect them to find the money to go and buy Halloween t-shirts to an empty room right now. Well, you're an idiot and probably a sociopath. You can get on the Internet and buy a shirt that would suit your needs right now for a mere fraction of what it's going to cost you to put together a decent costume. Not only that, but you can hang your shirt up and use it again next year. Now who's being economical and cost effective?
Now there's the issue of comfort. You usually have one of two options available to you if you decide to dress up in a costume. You can either go the mask route, or the makeup route. If you're wearing a mask, you have to spend all night lifting and lowering it so that you can drink your delicious adult beverages and so that people can hear what you're saying through the muffler effect the mask has on your voice. If you decide to wear a bunch of makeup, you will itch and smear makeup on everything you touch. How much better do simple, comfortable, Halloween t-shirts sound now?
Then you have all of the guys and gals like myself, who have simply started throwing their party invitations in the trash as soon as they see it has "costumes mandatory" on it. Not going anywhere is so much better than dealing with everyone asking me if I dressed up as a jerk. You know what? I dressed up as an adult, thank you very much. It would be such a wonderful whoosh of a fresh breeze if someone were to just invite me to a Halloween t-shirts party.
You don't have to tell me that I've convinced you that the Halloween t-shirts party is a much better idea than stupid costumes. All of the signs point to my idea being better than the traditional one. Cost, comfort, and maturity are all points in my favor. What do costumes have to offer compared to that? I know that you're going to make the right decision this year...not just for yourself, but for all of your friends as well. Let's party like grown-ups, shall we?
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